hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
