Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I need moral support for this bender
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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