Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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