We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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