people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize