Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
