the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
