i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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