im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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