quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
