So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
