Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
