Nicole vs. Life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
