They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
