Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
