mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
