thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
