I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
