Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
