the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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