He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
