Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
