So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
