you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
