I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
