I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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