It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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