I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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