I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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