By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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