you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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