I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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