so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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