I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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