every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
