omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Found your dick twin last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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