I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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