I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
