We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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