This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
