girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
