if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you made out with another girl for some wings
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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