Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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