smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize