Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
