Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
