It's Friday. Sex?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
