I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
even my farts smell like vagina
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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