Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
