The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
