I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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