Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You are the jesus of drinking
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
