Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im holly from the hills drunk
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
