It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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