Kiss
Puke
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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