i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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