Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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