found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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