You're so nebulous sometimes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
