butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
