I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
from now on my penis is your penis
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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