His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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