I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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